WHEN LOVE TURNS

A shiver runs through my spine
The night is boxing me in
Oh I am all alone
The stars are distant and dim

A stranger holds me close
The shadows hide his face
His touch has gone too cold
Cold as an autumn breeze

What wicked alchemy
Turns love to mortal fear
I am Summer’s bounty
now Fall’s sad souvenir.

The seas enhance the darkness
The seas thunder in my ears
untrained eyes see a romance
Inside I melt from my tears

Then I will be Nothing
Never seen, never heard
The wind whispers my name –
The one who loved, and   erred.

1280px-Shadows_looking_at_stars
The image is part of the challenge and is owned and loaned by @JessMann to Jane Dougherty.
This poem was written in response to Jane Dougherty's Poetry Challenge # 46:  Meter which I hope I met to some degree. The theme of the challenge is "Stars, Night, and Water".   Just a disclaimer - the poem has nothing to do with  personal circumstance. :-)

Also, I got the opening line inspiration from yesterday's Daily Post promt:  Shiver and proceeded from there.

P.S. September 5, 2016
The above poem has been revised following Jane's feedback about some lines having too many words.  I changed some words (with a synonym) and deleted some in order to stay close to the number of syllables in each stanza.  Here is the original piece as posted:
A shiver runs through my spine
 The night is boxing me in
 Oh I am all alone
 The stars are distant and dim

A stranger holds me close
 The shadows hide his face
 His touch has gone too cold
 Colder than   an autumn breeze

What wicked alchemy
 Turns fiery love to mortal fear
 I am Summer’s bounty
 Become  Fall’s rotten  souvenir.

The waters magnify   the darkness
 The seas thunder in my ears
 Ignorant eyes see a romance
 Inside I melt from my tears

Then I will be Nothing
 Never seen, never heard
 The wind whispers my name –
 The one who loved, the one who  erred.

 

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