A shiver runs through my spine
The night is boxing me in
Oh I am all alone
The stars are distant and dim
A stranger holds me close
The shadows hide his face
His touch has gone too cold
Cold as an autumn breeze
What wicked alchemy
Turns love to mortal fear
I am Summer’s bounty
now Fall’s sad souvenir.
The seas enhance the darkness
The seas thunder in my ears
untrained eyes see a romance
Inside I melt from my tears
Then I will be Nothing
Never seen, never heard
The wind whispers my name –
The one who loved, and erred.
This poem was written in response to Jane Dougherty's Poetry Challenge # 46: Meter which I hope I met to some degree. The theme of the challenge is "Stars, Night, and Water". Just a disclaimer - the poem has nothing to do with personal circumstance. :-) Also, I got the opening line inspiration from yesterday's Daily Post promt: Shiver and proceeded from there. P.S. September 5, 2016 The above poem has been revised following Jane's feedback about some lines having too many words. I changed some words (with a synonym) and deleted some in order to stay close to the number of syllables in each stanza. Here is the original piece as posted:
A shiver runs through my spine The night is boxing me in Oh I am all alone The stars are distant and dim A stranger holds me close The shadows hide his face His touch has gone too cold Colder than an autumn breeze What wicked alchemy Turns fiery love to mortal fear I am Summer’s bounty Become Fall’s rotten souvenir. The waters magnify the darkness The seas thunder in my ears Ignorant eyes see a romance Inside I melt from my tears Then I will be Nothing Never seen, never heard The wind whispers my name – The one who loved, the one who erred.
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‘The night is boxing me in” I like that 🙂
That’s a nice poem. It’s good that you can write from the perspective of other people like that. 🙂
A poem to ponder about , beautifully penned.
[…] WHEN LOVE TURNS – MY WALL […]
Oh, that’s sad. It needs a mournful harmony. Strings, maybe? All these metred poems make me want to set them to music (if I had a musical bone in my body).
Sad, but lovely. I could also see it set to music.
ah, thanks, Merril. 🙂