A LITTLE MID-LIFE MEDITATION

whitewildflowersI am out of words to say. My pen is poised in mid-air, with no angst or delighted surprise to push it to write. I am coasting in the calm waters of everyday, rocked only mostly by some fussy child or chores left undone. Sometimes, boredom sets in and that agitates my sails a bit. Then I wonder about the direction of my life, about the grand things that are perhaps passing me by.

I see my friends from a long time ago enjoying the fruits of long, dedicated work. I admire how much they have accomplished in their (legal) careers even with families to take care of. I admit to be sometimes dazzled by the glamour of their lives (at least as far as they beam through FB’s wall). Through them, I tour the world vicariously. I have seen so many countries and places from the pictures they posted while I feel lucky being able to walk in the nearby woods for some creative time. I learn about  fashion through them while here I am, wearing a shirt I am not afraid to be stained by cooking grease or children’s dirty hands.

susansandsuch

Just recently, a good friend and I chatted about our careers and the possibility of me regaining my lawyer-of-good-standing status in the Philippines. Thinking about our discussion, I revisited the reasons I am where I am. Thirteen years ago, I chose to leave my career and home behind for a chance at love and a family of my own. I got both and I have never been happier in my life.

There will always be days when I would rue my little existence. There will be days when I will look on the mirror and see nothing but an aging woman staring at me. Those days will be difficult. But then, I can take refuge in my husband’s consoling arms, and I could always hold my baby’s little hands and marvel at the beauty and miracles in my hand. Then I lift my misty eyes to God and bless Him for the ordinary days that look like mine.

sunbeams2

6 thoughts on “A LITTLE MID-LIFE MEDITATION

  1. You said this so Beautifully and honestly.
    I think it is important we all remember to appreciate what we have instead of appreciating what we wish we had.

  2. It sounds like our have lots to be thankful for, and so nice that you know it and appreciate your family. There is more to life than a job, and it is the smaller things in life that usually speak to us the most 💜

  3. “Ordinary day blessings”, unexpected events and happenings that make life wonderful. They are mostly things that we are thankful for.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: