Sun froze
lilies bloomed
too soon
winter hovers
in the horizon
the river flowed
too fast
spin the world
backwards
push
the wheel of fortune
is
whirring
turning
turning
pray
just a sweet spot
turning
a jackpot is too much
turning
to ask
screeching
slowing …
to stop….
exhale!
…. at where all began.
~~~
I am trying to Meet the Bar by writing a Dada poetry. Please check out DVERSE for what it means. All I understand is that Dada art and poetry turned conventional art upside down. If my understanding is inadequate, chances are, it is, you can understand the limitations of my piece. 🙂 Thank you for coming by, Do check out the Pub for better pieces. 🙂
MY WALL 
Do not worry, Imelda. I struggled with mine too and still hope I wrote a dadaistic poem. I like the layout on the page. How we’d like to push the wheel of fortune sometimes, backward, or forward!
there is a fortune wheel above the side entrance to the basel cathedral and it always fascinated me… the up and down and that neither good luck nor bad luck will be forever but the wheel just spins on and on and with it new opportunities and joys
really nice movement in this….and everything comes around eh? back to the beginning….i wonder at fortune…we get what we will, or what life graces us with i think…love the creative lay out on the page too…
I think the turning turning.. the wheels ever turning make it remarkably close tho the futrutistic branch where dadaism originated.. so yes it makes perfect sense.
I enjoyed your first stanza and the idea of the world spinning backwards. Sometimes I think that would be a good thing for a while….maybe we’d all get a bit younger for a time? And I can picture that wheel just turning, turning, turning! Effective images, Imelda.
Random luck has it’s place, but cannot be relied upon…back to basics I guess..this makes perfect sense 😉
in a circle – time should but WHY? flow- backwards, forwards, upwards downwards – movement’s dancing – tyndall projections as expansions fill seasons and leaves turn to butterflies and stop or explode into mushroom clouds over games of chance, just one throw of the card and boom another universe. (i’m writing dada comments now) 😉
Your comment is a poem. 🙂 Also, it made me think – why should time go backwards, indeed? 🙂
That’s cool, Gay, I’ve found myself writing Dada comments all day too; just can’t help ourselves, for once you fasten your flivver in the groove, there is no sense of direction, of parameter, or prudent possibilities, so dig the flying caterpillars, for they showed up in my poem too, but hell, what didn’t. Like Brian, I love the layout on the page, reading diagonally two lines at the same time; forced to multi-task in a world where a farting coral snake can trump
the soup kitchen openings, the charitable actions–where towel-hooded zealots can treat evil like holy scripture and gleefully rape, murder, abuse, & sodomize everyone–but don’t get me started.
I do think you met the bar…I felt like I was whirling, dancing maybe. And you even brought shape into it.
Thanks, Victoria. 🙂 The shape was unintentional – I just thought that it would be quite boring to see the words, especially the action words, all in a line with the other parts of the poem.
Oh yes, that pesky wheel of fortune! I felt quite swept away. And I too think you met (and vaulted over) the bar! 🙂
I like the movement of the wheel, turning backward & stopping & beginning again ~ Hey, don’t worry too much about the outcome ~ It works, smiles ~
Your words are amazing! and rich!
Bravo! You’ve got an imagination.. 🙂
Thanks, Charliezero. 🙂
This sounds so much like the day I had. Seen through the mirror of your words its prettier than I realized while I was living it. I love it when a poem does that for me.
I like this very much, the circle of chance you spin, always coming back to the beginning. I love the notion of the sun freezing, and all your spacing … the way you let the words and phrases breathe and take their time to arrive.
I actually found this quite fascinating .. never really seen anything like it before, but understanding what you are trying to do I thought it very good…
Thanks, Bulldog. Actually, I did not know what I was doing – I just thought that I had to format the words because the same words in a straight line could be a bit boring. I am a bit surprised and glad that friends liked it.
There’s no single right way, every attempt is equally valid and good, so don’t worry – Dada is not all dogmatic! This is very interesting, because you start out almost conventionally, calm… and then it gathers speed, momentum and madness! Like a bicycle careening out of control down a hill.
I like your observation, Marina. I did think that the piece got bent out of shape and got too scattered in the middle. 🙂 The big spacing was accidental because WordPress would not allow me to indent some words unless I put a space between the lines.
This one has a wonderful sense of movement, and then, great haste, Imelda. I was relieved to be able to exhale at the end. 🙂
I agree with the wonder of movement here and it spins reality on itself- it keeps me smiling
Agree with anotherday2paradise. Great sense of movement. Very abstract, yet I think we can visualise at least a spinning wheel of luck in our heads. You took us on a breathtaking ride with this poem in a very good way, Imelda. And I didn’t want it to end 🙂
love this spinning and that which spins in whatever way…lovely movement in this….
Thanks, Sumana. 🙂
loved your Dada..a lot..you left me spinning..smiles..:)
Thanks, Arathi.
I like the inner text that says PUSH PRAY EXHALE not bad advice.
Phew!! That was quite a roller coaster ride! 🙂 I am clueless about Dada, but to me this made brilliant reading Imelda.
Ah the wheel of life always comes back around…love this!