HE LOVES DEEPLY

FaceHe loves deeply, that’s all that you should know
even when his love hides in the shadow
of fear that tenderness would make him weak
to those he loves, he could never seem meek
His strong arm  contains his emotion’s flow.

His counsels are gold but they do not glow
within rebukes given with furrowed brows
His word is law that no one dares to speak
He loves deeply.

Oft he wonders why his loves chose to go
away from the home he nurtured them so
He gave them his all. He knows he seeks
requited love. Yet with his proud streak,
he’ll love the same and swallow his sorrow.
He loves deeply.

________

For DVERSE POETS’ Form For All: The Rondeau.  Do check out the Pub for some gorgeous poetry. 🙂  Thank you for coming by.

Advertisements

21 comments

  1. ..made me think of my father as well….he was able to show it in ways that were conditional, though, and misleading..you gave this subject and form great depth.

    • Thanks, Bjorn. Yeah, finding that balance with love and relationships is tricky. However, I guess it is better to err on the ‘too much love’ side than on the other.

  2. Fabulous, Imelda. You’ve written a lovely rondeau with a strong rentrement/refrain. Your rhymes follow the rondeau’s pattern perfectly and your use of enjambment helps to disguise them; if I heard this poem read out loud, I’d really have to be concentrating to spot the form, which is a good thing as far as I’m concerned.

    A minor point, but you can remove the word does from your fifth line. It isn’t needed for meaning and without it the line is smoother.

    What I like most about this poem is that it leaves the identity of him for the reader to decide. Is it a husband, lover, father … or even God. I always enjoy poems that leave space for me to find my own meaning in them … smiles

    • Thanks, Tony. I just learned from your reply here the name for that technique that I see many of the Pub Poets use when they cut their verses. I always learn something from your comments and I appreciate the way you point out the not only the good parts but also those areas that need refinement.

      In that spirit, yes, I will remove the ‘does’. I felt it was a bit redundant when I first wrote it it but I felt that I had to do so to complete the syllabic count.

      Thanks a lot again. Also, thank you for the prompt. It was a bit difficult but fulfilling to make.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s