I wrote this post following a prompt from Studio30+ which was about, you guessed it, Ugly Sweatpants. 🙂 Studio30+ is a community of writers which I stumbled when I read Jester Queen’s post, ‘Show, Don’t Tell’. To make a story short, I signed up with Studio30+ and found Jester Queen’s post to be very helpful.
I had some fun concocting this little tongue-in-cheek piece. I hope you enjoy this one. 🙂
One morning, three years and a day from her fairy tale wedding, Cindy woke up into what for her was a bad dream.
“Waaahhhhhhh!” three month old Aspen wailed in the next room.
“Mommy, me poop-yyyy!” intoned her two year old Brendan in her ear.
She opened one bleary eye after the other, and gave the sleeping prince beside her an envious glance.
“Zzzzzznrookkkk!” Frank went as his breath teased a wayward puff of hair on his forehead.
Resisting the urge to whack him with a pillow, she dragged herself off the bed and shuffled to the nursery room while she held on Brendan’s little hand for support.
She went to the crib and pacified Aspen with a binky. Then she laid Brendan on the changing table to clean him up. Midway through, Aspen cried again. It, however, did not wake her husband, much to her chagrin.
The wailing got louder.
“Sigh! And it is only 6:00” thought a sleep-deprived Cindy.
She picked up her children, deposited them in the family bed, and tried to put everyone back to sleep.
A few minutes later, Cindy herself got ready for the day. A big deep sigh from her brought Frank to his senses.
“What’s the matter, princess?” he asked in his sleepy voice.
“I look ugly.” Her lips quivered.
“No, I’m not. I’m fat and misshapen.”
“You’re a mother of two.”
“So, I am ugly!” Her frown just got deeper.
“Now now, don’t work yourself too much. Relax. Sleep when the kids sleep.” He cooed to her as he held her close.
“Easy for you to say!” She sulked all the more.
Finally, the day was well on its way. Frank had left for work. Cindy was left in a sleepy daze nursing Aspen for the nth time that morning while taking care of Brendan’s demands and wondering how she would accomplish the chores that needed to be done. She was tired and sorry for herself.
Overcome by it all, Cindy found herself slouched on the couch her head cradled on her palms and had a crying fest with her children.
She grabbed her iPhone and tapped some numbers. Soon, the face of a white–haired woman with a kindly smile and mischievous eyes appeared on the screen.
“Yes, child? It’s been a long time.”
“Oh, Godmother. I feel so miserable. I never knew that happily ever after could be so tiring and unromantic.”
“Hush, Child. Reality bites. You knew that you would have to do things other than staring at each others’ lovelorn eyes,” said the rather practical Godmother. “Is there anything I can do for you?”
“Help me. I have two babies and lots of housework and I can’t keep my clothes clean and I’m tired and ugly and all so alone….” She managed to say between sobs and sniffles.
“Oh my. I can’t send you anyone right now. It is difficult to get a visa for household help these days. Mmmmm…would you mind an au pair, however?”
“As long as she’s not young and pretty and not too smart, that may be fine Godmother. But I really need help now…”
“Do you have any mice in there, by any chance?”
“No, Godmother, mice are no longer welcome anywhere.”
“It would be nice if you have a hamster handy for just days like this.” Godmother teased Cindy.
“Well, mmmm, let’s see.” After some moment, her face lit up. “Aha! Try this one. Go to the nearest mirror..ah..no no no..avoid the mirror… stand where you are. Remember how you turned for the waltz during your wedding dance, do the reverse turn. Counter clockwise, yes! Do a counterclockwise. Make sure your arms are spread out like a bird’s wings in flight. Do it now and let’s see.”
With trepidation, Cindy did as she was told. As she turned, she felt free. Light seemed to sizzle around her. When things settled down, her long wavy brown hair was in a tight French braid, she was wearing a loose cotton shirt neatly tucked in on a pair of ….
“Gasp! What ugly brown sweatpants these are, Godmother!” But she felt as light as a feather and as chirpy as a bird.
“Well, you look happier. So, it worked. Don’t look at pictures of glamorous women right now or the pants will lose their magic.” After more admonitions from Godmother, Cindy bid goodbye and resumed her humming.
“Someday my prince will come……” she sang as she scooped her crying children. “Ooops..”
“Salagadoola menchicka boola bibbidi bobbidi boo…” she sang instead and danced with the children until Aspen fell asleep and Brendan got bored.
Then she grabbed the vacuum cleaner, and washed the dishes, and did some cooking, and prepared dinner, all in between taking care of the children. She even managed to have a nap!
Soon, the day was done. Cindy heard the garage door open and close. She pirouetted clockwise and she was back in her regular clothes, still all chirpy and happy like. She straightened her hair and gave it a toss, enjoying the thick cascade that settled nicely behind her. With her children in her arms, she greeted her husband with a smack on his cheek and a big smile.
Francis gave her a puzzled look.
Cindy just smiled and said “Dinner is ready, my love.”
Not daring to upset the boat, Francis without a word went to the dining table and enjoyed the company of his happy wife.
4 thoughts on “THE AMAZING UGLY SWEATPANTS”
This is funny! It wasn’t until the emergency call to her Godmother that I realized this was the Cinderella story I’ve been waiting for Disney make 🙂 (Clever – Cindy~Cinderella). I’m glad the ugly sweatpants were magical for her. I don’t own ugly sweatpants anymore because they made me feel even worse!
HAHAHAHAHHAAHA!! I love this Imelda. I love when your playful side finds its way into your writing. 🙂
kudos 🙂 clever story!
(SMILE) Very cute! Ugly sweatpants are my comfort clothing. As much as everyone needs comfort foods, I need my comfort clothes! But, of course, I’ll only wear them at home where no one else can see them, family excluded.