THE CAROUSEL – Part 2

This post continues THE CAROUSEL.  This is  a response to the challenge posted by SAM for Bloggy Moms Writers’ Workshop for this week – This week’s prompt is to write what you DON’T know. Add a scene to a work in progress that requires you to do a little research. Write a story from a different genre than you are comfortable with. Step outside your comfort zone, think outside the box, and write something new. And since I know we are all busy, let’s keep it simple with no more than 700 words.”

When I started the story, I only wanted to respond to a prompt.  I did not think much about the setting, or the characters or the events.  But then, I got curious about the story itself and wanted to continue.  However, I found that I could not do that without having a tangible, if that is the proper word, for the place that was described in the story.   In the end, I went back to my roots, remembering that in the Philippines, there is this beautiful island in the middle of nowhere.   That served as the inspiration, except that in the story, it is a garbage island.

I am also linking with Trifecta whose challenge word this week is ALLEY -3: a narrow street; especially : a thoroughfare through the middle of a block giving access to the rear of lots or buildings.   The word somehow fitted with my plan for the next chapter (I hope that the use meets the criteria though).

Head on over their pages for great stories. 🙂

Here is Part – 2.

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Old man and boy stared into each others’ eyes for what may have been eternity; the wise knowing eyes against those that saw beauty for the first time; the former seeing loneliness and longing waking into the want and poverty around him. Old eyes blinked.

“You may keep it. For now.”

“Don’t tell anyone about the ca… your find.” Abuelo added though he knew he did not have to.

“Bandar might know, Abuelo.” He whispered.

The old man sat motionless for a moment. Lifting himself on one knee, he pushed open the window above his head. Light came in and illuminated the surprisingly clean room. Crates and boxes containing scraps found from the dump – materials for Abuelo’s varied projects or things stored just-in-case – lined the rough stone wall.

He looked into sacks and boxes, searching for something. Finally, from one of the covered boxes in the bottom of the pile, Abuelo retrieved an oil lamp with a metal base.

“Take this …” he said, handing the lamp to Darion, “…and give me that … toy.”

Darion’s arms closed upon his treasure as he looked at the old man, distrust and confusion in his eyes. Abuelo turned around and lifted a wooden plank from the floor, revealing a recess where some boxes were. Abuelo moved a box and dug a little pit. “It will be safe here.” He said. Darion slid towards the hole, deposited the carousel into it, and covered it with dirt.

As soon as the floor was in place, excited voices wafted into the room. Darion and Abuelo peered out of the window and saw Bandar with some children coming down an alley between the huts and garbage hills.

“I saw it. You didn’t!” Bandar said, his voice rising above the cacophony of doubting voices.

“Who would throw anything as pretty as you claimed, HA?”

Abuelo ducked away from the window.

“Pick up the lamp, Darion.” He said.

(Please click here for PART 3)

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24 comments

  1. So Abuelo was helping him keep the carousel all along? Hmm, I wonder what are in the other boxes under the floor… What a great ending to this story, if I read it correctly!

    • THanks, Sandra.

      For now, the carousel is safe under the floor.
      I was too tired last night, I forgot to write ‘to be continued’ at the end of the post. I think it has still a long way to go if I can get to it. 🙂

  2. You set the scene so well. (I went back to part one to find they were scavenging at the dump.) I’m glad his grandpa let him keep the carousel, and even helped him hide it. I’m a bit concerned about his ominous warning at the end of part 1 that it was bad luck. I think there’s still so much you could tell of this story 🙂

    • Thank you, Janna. 🙂
      You are right, there is more story to tell. After I posted the original one, I thought about how this story will go and based on that nebulous idea, I will have a few more installments, if I can get to it. I have a draft for the continuation but after I posted this last night, my brain, not so used to thinking much these days, sputtered and stopped working. 🙂 I forgot to put the ‘to be continued’ at the end.

  3. Such a moving story with a child-like magic and wonder. The words are full of heart and hope. I bet he was more wonderful stuff kept for the boy to discover. The post made me remember what it felt like when I was boy. Of what it feels like to discover little treasures that means a lot to a little boy filled with dreams. Thanks and hope to see your version of “happiness” soon.

  4. Suspense! Ok I am hooked!
    Please keep this going. You see the ZB chronicles I am working on; a one-off that has turned into a fun and well received storyline. I am confident that YOU can be inspired to craft this tale wonderfully. Take your time, write it as you go along! 😉

    • Thank you for the vote of confidence. 🙂 I have a 400 word continuation waiting to be uploaded and a rough idea in my head. I am not as blind anymore as when I began, but there are too many decisions and choices to be made.

  5. Thanks so much for linking up with Trifecta this week. Great take on the prompt. You’ve definitely left us hanging and wanting to know more! Hope you’ll come back soon.

  6. i’m glad this prompt was useful for you in furthering your story. This left us with a ton of questions, definitely wanting more!

    • I will try to make some sense of the initial draft I have. 🙂 Thank you very much for the help. I am excited about this because I found something creative to do. I hope I can sustain the excitement. 🙂

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