Alone, I floated in my dark little world
but for the beat by which I lived,
There, I bided the time
When I’d see the light
while warmed by gentle arms
coddling me close to the heart.
But my solitude was broken
by hands steely and cold.
Deaf to my silent screams,
they snatched me amid pain untold.
Alas! My dreams were no more.
They’re simple – just To BE
I dared not ask why
my mother didn’t want me.
This piece was written for Bloggy Moms Writers’ Workshop. This picture is this week’s prompt –
Thank you for dropping by. Your comments and visit are always much appreciated.
I am not so sure about whether my piece was an appropriate response or whether it is comprehensible at all. But like a dutiful student, I did my homework. 😉
11 thoughts on “UNBORN”
I feel like a fetus just waiting to be born 🙂 very picturesque phrases, and they fit into the verses too! Thanks for sharing !
Thank you, Noel, for dropping by and for the nice comment of course. In literal translation of our idiom, it fattens my heart. 😉
you’re very welcome for that Counsel, but actually it wasn’t a moment later that I realized the “sad” ending of the poem! Still it gave me happiness just to read your lines and figure out what you were trying to build up. More power!
Thanks again. 🙂
What a stunning piece of writing. Very visual and sensory. Great job.
Thank you, Diane. 🙂 I am happy you found this piece nice.
Very powerful. Never doubt if your creativity is appropriate. You’re sharing amazing work! I see your writing taking off! Great job!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chelle, thank you for reading. Your words are so encouraging. I appreciate them a lot. 🙂
Oh it fits. Who am I to say it doesn’t? It’s merely an inspiration and you definitely were inspired. You build up the hope so well throughout the prose that I feel as sad at the ending as the character did. You took something very difficult to write about and made it beautiful just with your words. Amazing writing. You really are taking off.
Yey! Thanks Stephanie. 🙂 I am much encouraged by your words. 🙂
Very creative, vivid and descriptive! I like your perspective~one of a kind. Great job:-)